I Do Not Claim to be a Football Expert But...Jim Harbaugh is a Disney Prince and Lou Holtz Colors his Hair

For Super Bowl weekend, I feel that football should be the subject of my next blog. Though nothing will top last year's Super Bowl with the Saints' first ever Super Bowl win, I am excited to cheer for my 2nd favorite team, the Green Bay Packers.

I do not claim to be a football expert. Rob can throw out statistics, discuss players and games from before he was born, and recount specific plays from games, both college and pro, from years ago. I can tell you that Minnesota's mascot is the Golden Gopher; I am pretty sure that Rob and Rex Ryan are the same person (twins....whatever, Rex just wears a disguise); Jim Harbaugh is a Disney Prince; and Lou Holtz is not a natural blond....anymore! So...though I am not an expert, I love football. I love to watch football at home on the couch. I love any type of football party where there is food and beer. I love watching any football outdoors in a stadium...hot or cold weather...with a sweaty wax cup of Diet Coke, nachos, the sounds of a band and all of the fans...even the annoying ones. I love to watch football in the Dome, where I get to drink Coors Light and high five strangers.



These are two pictures of me, not Rob, on Christmas morning when I got my first (and last) football uniform. My mom thinks these were taken in 1982. All I wanted that Christmas was a football uniform...I blame having mostly boy cousins. I remember watching football every Sunday with Daddy. For some reason, I can always remember loving when the Cowboys played the Redskins...it was like "cowboys and Indians," and we cheered for the Redskins because you know Arkansans just can't support anything from the state of Texas! Several years later, I got a Bengals jersey, because I had a thing for Boomer Esiason. I still like the Bengals...they are number 4 on my top five teams. And I still rock a jersey...Shockey.

I guess around 5th or 6th grade I developed a thing for John Elway and the Denver Broncos. I loved him. When they lost to San Francisco in the Super Bowl, I was so mad at Randy for going for the 49ers. I know now that he rooted against me to bug the crap out of me for four quarters and to get under my skin...which I like to do to Rob now, like when Arkansas beats LSU! This was the point that I actually paid attention to different players, how the game was played, etc. This knowledge came in handy as I entered middle school. My partner in crime at all Barton Wildkitten games in 7th grade was Ashley Templeton. I miss wearing those ribbons and having pep rallies! We had the best time at football games at Barton and then in high school. We memorized the section of the program with all of the calls that the referee makes and the hand motion for them...our favorite: clipping; everyone who knows what this signal is knows why it is funny. We were also together our senior year when those damn Van Buren Pointers came in for the semi finals (I think) of state and beat us in the pouring rain. Ashley is now Ashley Nash...wife of Coach Nash!

I went to my first pro game in 9th grade - The New Orleans' Saints vs. The Green Bay Packers. From this point on, I was a Saints fan. We ate breakfast at Mother's and walked to the game. Everyone was having a blast that Sunday morning. I am pretty sure this trip is when I decided that I enjoyed giving strangers high fives. I was jealous of the Packers fans' Cheese Heads. They had this new quarterback named Brett Favre...he ended up having a decent career. I started cheering for Green Bay after seeing them play that day. The next year we saw New Orleans play Atlanta, which is the game that I really learned how much fun rivals are and how good I am at disliking a team and opposing fans. The last game I went to until this past year was against the Colts...this was when New Orleans was the "Aint's," so we had awesome seats which can actually be pretty boring. I learned everything about live sporting events from my step-dad at these games: The upper level seats are better because everyone likes to party and always get cold beer and warm nuts!

Naturally when I got to college, I paid more attention to college football. The Super Bowl was always eventful at the KA house. They always had bleachers made out of old sofas, those lovely silver bags of Franzia hanging from the ceiling, and you never knew if someone would run through a window to win a bet. Honestly, I spent more time tailgating at Tech than actually in the stadium. I love Tech, and I cheer for them every game they play. I cheer for Arkansas because the Hogs are really all we have going for us as far as sports...no NFL, NBA, MLB teams for Arkansas. I never cheered for LSU until Rob and I started dating. He took me to my first LSU game in 2003...LSU vs. Georgia. Going to a game in Baton Rouge is quite the experience. We have had such a good time at every game with friends, family, and the other ninety some odd folks that attend the game. A few that stand out are when Hill ended up at the baseball field while the game was being played; when Julie found that cardboard cutout of a man's head and he attended the game with us; and when Andy tried to fight me because he almost spilled his lady drink on my white capris. Some people have such attitude about ONLY cheering for the 'team' of the school you attended; this is total crap. Does that mean that if someone didn't attend a college then they can't cheer for any college team? Some guys say there is nothing worse than watching a football game with a girl who knows nothing about football. I say there is nothing worse than watching a game with an asshole who thinks he knows everything about football and takes everything too seriously! Even if someone wants to be a bandwagon fan...Brittany...that is totally up to the individual.

So to close my rambling about football, I am not an expert...but I am a fan. I have never played on a football team. I will never know what it is like to play on a football team, but I can recognize how special the game is to the boys and men who have played and do play football. Football is a game that is entertainment to so many people and brings all types of people together as they support the same team. During an intense game, grown men will cry and women will throw things at the TV. I watched the documentary Lombardi this weekend, and I was so shocked by how intelligent and passionate Vince Lombardi was about the game of football. He once had an eight hour seminar about one play. I don't know all of the ins and outs of coaching a team, and I am sure I would be a horrible coach after my first season as a part of a fantasy football league...I wanted to fire my players after every game...but I can tell that man was and is a hero in many eyes. There are many scandals in both college and professional football, and I could write so many negative things about the sport. Most of the players who have been involved in scandals are really great players, and though it is hard to forget and forgive (I still haven't forgiven Brett Favre), the positive aspects of these players usually shine through and mold legends. Football produces heroes for young boys...and girls. Football brings families and friends, as well as strangers in a bar or restaurant, together during a game. Football is a great sport.



One last thing that I associate with football is food. Every Super Bowl at home, Randy would grill burgers, or we would make chili. Our "main" course would vary each year, but there are a few things that were a must on Super Bowl Sunday. Buffalo Chips are my favorite. They are so easy to make, and the recipe makes a ton. I add the recipe to the blog because I am making them this year as we watch the game with Rob's family. Another 'must have' is a variety of sweets; my favorites are Hello Dollies and Brownies. Recipes below....
So...eat a lot, drink a beer, high five a stranger, and Go Packers!





Buffalo Chips
2 pounds of hamburger meat
1 pound of sausage
2 pounds of Velveeta, cubed
2 tsp. of Oregano
1 tsp. of Cayenne Peppar
1/2 tsp. of garlic salt
2 packages of Rye cocktail bread
Brown both hamburger and sausage and drain well. In a large pot, add hamburger, sausage, Velveeta, and seasonings. Mix together and stir until Velveeta melts. Spoon mixture (about a teaspoon) on bread. You can either freeze (I layer on a cookie sheet and use wax paper) or cook immediately. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and cook about 10 minutes or if frozen, 15 minutes.

Hello Dollies
1 stick of butter
1 1/2 to 2 cups of graham cracker crumbs
1 can of Eagle Brand milk
1 cup of milk choc chips
1 cup of Reese's peanut butter chips
1 cup of chopped pecans

Preheat oven at 350 degrees. Melt butter and combine with crumbs to make crust. Press in to bottom of 9x13 coated cake pan. Pour Eagle Brand over crust. Layer remaining ingredients. Bake for 25 minutes or until golden bubbly. This recipe is a variation of the "Magic Cookie Bars" recipe on the back of the Eagle Brand milk can. My mom adds coconut instead of PB chips. This year I am added toffee bits. I have seen so many variations...like walnuts and white chocolate which I would like to try!

Birds and Fish and Zombies?

This is my first ever blog post. Being the new year and the start of my "blogging," I have pondered writing about resolutions, my background, how much diets suck, the general "goings on" of Rob and I; however, I want to write about the recent news of dead birds and fish. Yes...this is probably a disease or a natural freak show sponsored by our crazy weather. But...being a fan of horror films, I can think of about ten films that have this type of situation somewhere in the plot. I love these movies; they are the scariest type of horror film because you think "What would I do?" after you watch them. Most notable are movies involving a government mishaps (The Crazies), the end of the world, and my favorite...zombies.
Two summers ago, one of my students wrote her research paper on the idea that the world would end in 2012. My student used a source that listed the situations to prepare for and the site even sold "End of the World Party Kits." I listed several of my personal survival tips on my Facebook page that I will add to the end of this post for fun. Like every conspiracy theory and disaster or tragedy that happens in the world, I became occupied with how I would survive the situation. This is also something that Rob and I talk about after EVERY movie that we see
One particular survival discussion that Rob and I had stands out to me; this conversation occurred after we saw Zombieland (which is hilarious and one of my favorites). Rob made the comment that he didn't think that I would be able to hang if we had to flee our home due to zombies or, you know, the apocalypse. I was totally offended. I said "Lucy and I will be able to keep up just fine." I plan to put Lucy in a papoose and carry her in the event of a zombie attack, by the way. His reply, "I would let you come....when you start slowing me down, I will snap your neck and eat you." This is one of my favorite stories to tell people, and trust me, he was dead serious. And we vowed to shoot one another if either of us became a zombie...I would probably secretly keep Rob chained up in a shed with an XBox like Shaun does Ed in Shaun of the Dead; he will be a zombie and will never know if I do that! We agree that I would probably bring items that would not help our cause, like a "Zombie Mix" CD, and I would want to update my Facebook status regularly. I did just finish reading Under the Dome by Stephen King, so I am going to start stockpiling propane. Surely the knowledge we both have from years of horror films will keep us alive if the bird/fish situation manifests into something crazy. Another positive we have on our side now is Rob's new machete that he got during Dirty Santa at the Martin Family Christmas this year (photo to follow).
We all know that recently the guy who predicted the end of the world via the Mayan calendar changed his mind and moved the "end of the world" forward 50 years...lucky us. So, we can put that off for a little while. Hopefully, this crazy bird/fish situation will be explained and we all don't go "Walking Dead" from drinking the water. So, I guess that zombies go along with the little messes of life that you can sop up easier with a machete and your favorite zombie mix tape...here are my survival tips from Facebook...they were a hit; I guess I should keep adding to them! Enjoy!
Megan's 2012 Survival Tips:
1. Some predict that there will be a "rise of the machines" (think Terminator, decepticons, or a really evil Johnny 5). I suggest building special relationships with your appliances immediately, like a plant or pet. When you start to feel like your blender is turning on you, go Office Space on it.
2. In the event of tidal waves, have a flotation device ready. I suggest a brightly colored one with a cup holder. You will be rescued easier and can have a cocktail as you float. Or a raft shaped like Shamu or a gator; this will lighten the mood for your friends and repel any dangerous marine creatures.
3. Many firestorms ("a storm in which violent winds are drawn into the column of hot air rising over a severely bombed area") may occur. You can imagine how uncomfortable this will be. Therefore, have handy a tank top, hot pants and roller skates. You stay cool and can out-skate any blasts of flames.
4. In the event of asteroids or NEO's (near earth objects) hitting the earth, "If you live near a cave system, you may want to go and set up a temporary shelter there." Obviously. Once you are secure in your cave, light a fire at the opening. This will prevent animals from entering the cave. Though living in harmony with the animals may seem appealing during the apocalypse, remember, the wolverines and bears are going to be just as hungry as we are!